At the end of the video below, one of the men begins playfully jerking off his friend ( perhaps he was just trying to “help a bud out”). This may include spanking or grabbing a guy’s dick, all of which Ralph says fit the masculine schemes of being risky, controversial and funny. Ralph and Roberts coined the term “genital horseplay” to describe the phenomenon of straight men grabbing each other’s dicks for a laugh. “These guys may not categorize themselves as being hyper-masculine, but they do use it as a form of exchange, figuring if they kiss their male friend, women will be interested on some level.” Spanking, Fondling and ‘Genital Horseplay’ “It’s like, ‘If we kiss, you guys kiss,’” she says, describing it as “overt, hyper-masculine behavior” meant to draw attention to themselves.
That said, sometimes kissing is encouraged, one participant noted, like during “initiation rituals” or celebrations on the playing field.Īnother slightly different realm, Ralph notes, is when men kiss each other to attract ladies. In other words, before kissing his straight friend on the lips, a man must be sure the friend won’t slip him the tongue. Ralph says something called “friendship closeness” - i.e., the extent to which a man feels he can engage in platonic physical/emotional intimacy without triggering homohysteric anxieties - allows men to push the envelope so long as it’s clearly understood that it has nothing to do actual sexual desire (or even a desire to express platonic affection). “It’s the faces touching - like really really in there. “No guys that are perfectly straight would do this,” one participant said of the photo below. There were a couple hugs that crossed a line, though. They noted similar interactions with women, but only when meeting them for the first time.
One participant explained that he “wanted to go in for a hug all the time.” Another recounted a guy saying “nah” when he reached for a handshake, opting to hug him instead. Nearly all of the hugging photos were considered “okay” without objection, Ralph says. Or at least how the participants in their study sorted images of straight men embracing in different ways - classifying the embraces as either “okay,” “it depends” or “not okay.” Handshakes, Hugging and ‘Chin Sex’ To get a better understanding of all this totally not gay platonic touch (and penis fondling), I asked Ralph and Roberts to take me through the myriad ways straight guys show affection for each other (totally behind closed doors, of course).